Set Free

There are so many things that I've been healed from this past week and a half. There are so many things that I've learned. But not thru humans, although they were used to bring me to the point where I was open to the learning. It was thru God and Him alone, that I was set free. I walk in that freedom.

I have learned that it is okay to cry. Growing up I learned that if I cried, it would show I am weak and beatings would follow along with ridicule and hateful words. I see now that crying releases emotions, good and bad ones. Crying is needed when words fail to show depth. I weep openly now, I weep with joy, with sorrow and with anger.

I now see that the enemy had distracted me from my devotional time with God, thus leading me to the dark place that I was. I had no time with God, so I perceived Him to have left me. I thought God had PUT ME in that dark place because I was bad or because it was a test. I see now it was the enemy. I get to trample the enemy under my feet now because a Prophet of The Lord had spoke the Truth over me and the Truth sets me FREE. Now I MAKE time to be with my Lord, whether it is on break at work or in the early morning before everyone else is up.
I am learning it is okay to go to others for help and to verbally say I need their help. That one was the hardest for me: to trust someone enough to state you are not strong enough to do something and are trusting them to help you. But that is one that is still a work in progress.

I see now that God loves me. It isn't human love and conditional. He LOVES me. He BLED for me. He waits patiently for me to come to me. When I came to Him on my knees on that third night of the conferences, He rejoiced and poured His Spirit on me. I sang in the language of angels. My heart exploded. He shared a taste of the burden He has for His Church, that He has for me. To feel what He feels, just a fraction of it, it blows my mind still. To see myself as He does for those fleeting moments, how I wish I could draw! My beloved... He calls me His ♥

I am set free from the lies that were spoken over me for over 10 years to the present. No, all of them aren't gone. But the ones that are frees me to dance with abandon, to worship with the flag and with my voice and with my pencil. I can walk knowing I am His. No, I do not know what all that entails. But I know I am His Beloved, His Bride. He loves me. And no man on this Earth (except for Jesus when He comes) can take that away from me.